Jeff Hughes has written an insightful article, expressing his thoughts on the multi-generational church. He understands the desire of young adults to start their own congregations. He relates to twenty and thirty-somethings who have felt that their voices were not being heard by the leaders of their established churches. Yet he warns that young adults give up a lot when they separate.
When “emerging generations” isolate themselves from the rest of the church, they are ignoring some of their own fundamental values, such as community and diversity. I believe that a true “emerging” church is a multi-generational community composed of people of all ages who desire to worship God in authentic ways.–Jeff Hughes
Jeff suggests a “tri-generational” church as an alternative to separate churches for different generations. His model proposes multiple worship venues, each served by its own leadership team. The teams are accountable to a senior leadership core. Beyond this Jeff encourages a culture that fosters respect for different generational viewpoints, allows for diversity in expression, and strives for unity by developing terminology for resolving conflict.
As a middle-aged guy, I resonate with Jeff’s heart. I would like to see more dynamic, growing, multi-generational churches. I sense the incompleteness, sometimes even to the point of grief, when I walk into a church that is defined by one generation. Yet I also understand how difficult it can be to foster unity in a congregation where multiple generations are striving to express their devotion to God in their own heart languages.
I’ve on occasion worshiped with traditional churches that were made up primarily of senior adults. I’ve been deeply blessed, seeing people sing familiar hymns, expressing their love for God colored by many lifetimes of experiences of the faithfulness of God. I’ve seen tears in the eyes of elderly women as they sang Amazing Grace, because they knew from experience what the words meant. I miss that. I’ve also known older adults who canonized the old hymns and refused to acknowledge that God is working through modern forms of worship. I’ve seen buildings and organs turned into idols and heard drums condemned as desecrating the sanctuary. In some cases, older adults are simply repeating what they’ve been taught. In other cases, their enshrinement of tradition betrays them as very religious people who lack authentic, gospel-centered faith.
I’ve worshiped with so-called “Gen-X” churches and found the experiences to be powerful. It was energizing to see young adults express their passion for God with deep reverence and loud music. There were signs of extraordinary creativity that we have not seen in traditional churches for decades. There were marks of authenticity, a sense that the worshipers were truly sold out to Jesus, serious about their mission, and deeply committed to one another. Yet often I felt alone in the midst of these churches. Their sanctuaries were dimly lit and few people took initiative to speak to me. Their leaders, many of whom projected rock-star personae, didn’t seem genuinely interested in persons outside their inner circles. Yet their personae projected cultures that attracted people none the less. Some of these churches are experiencing explosive growth.
At times I’ve thought it would be a mistake to hamper young churches with the burden of becoming multi-generational. It takes a lot of time and energy to facilitate constructive communication and build high-trust relationships between the generations. I’ve wondered if meeting that burden would drain too much momentum from these young, fast-moving congregations. Deep in my heart, however, is the conviction that the generations need each other.
When I was a young pastor, my growing, new church had a handful of middle-aged members. They were valuable encouragers, cheerleaders mostly, careful not to meddle too much. They accommodated for my insecurities. They understood the burden I was carrying and chose not to pile on when I failed. These people were extraordinary; I wished I had a hundred of them. It has taken me years to realize just how extraordinary they were. In many ways my church was hostile to middle-aged adults. At that time, I understood very little about the challenges of midlife. I judged the middle-aged harshly when they didn’t live up to my idealized vision of what midlife would be. I misunderstood their language and misinterpreted their intentions when they tried to help. If I had taken more time to know them, I’m sure I could have avoided some needless conflict and gained valuable allies in advancing the mission of our church.
Facilitating strong, interdependent relationships between the generations is hard and takes time. Not only do we have different stylistic preferences, we also have psychological filters that distort our views of one another. I once had a conversation with a young pastor, whose church I had visited. He told me that he sensed that I didn’t know what I was looking for. He suggested that I wouldn’t be satisfied in any church until I defined what I was seeking. He maintained that he had a prophetic gift that allowed him to see this in me. We continued the conversation politely though it seemed like for him the real discussion was over. He had defined me. From my chair, our conversation seemed archetypal: young idealism meets middle-aged ambiguity. Later in the week I emailed him but did not receive a response. He was an interesting guy; I would have liked to get to know him better. But the reality was that he served a blowing-going, young church. He didn’t have time for me.
Multi-generational churches at their best are stronger, more resilient, and more authentic expressions of the Kingdom of God than single generation churches. Yet they will not be built without a cost. Establishing the DNA for these churches will require more foundational work that could slow early momentum in young congregations. The generations will have to make time for one another. We’ll need to develop new team-building skills so we can leverage the strengths of multi-generational leadership to gain long-term vibrancy. We’ll need to embrace new leadership models that are less dependent on generational personae and more grounded in spiritual maturity. We’ll need to teach our people to be less egocentric about their generational preferences and more appreciative of worship that is authentic yet different. Ultimately, our commitment to become multi-generational will have a purifying effect on the church. It will be the extravagant love of Christ and His people that compels the lost to come to Him.
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It’s no mystery why it’s easier to love those within my own generation when my frame of reference is me. I understand why my peers hurt, grimace and celebrate. My love for others is too often just self-validation. To “love extravagantly” requires me to first notice and then value something in another that I don’t necessarily value in myself. I’ll have to question my conclusions and enter into sometimes uncomfortable conversations. Not so easy….